I hated this,
My body accustomed to the usual hangover at this time of the day was still giving me a massive headache,
The lights still hurt my eyes a little bit.
The laughs, the smiles, the speech.
I absolutely hated this.
I didn't want to be here,
I didn't need to be here,
Yet I screwed up and I had to suffer the consequences,
I hated myself.
Ignore that stupid circle of hate,
Empty your mind from all its anger,
Don't respond to your body screaming for alcohol.
Focus, Theo.
Gaze wandering around the crowd,
Messy hair,
Red eyes,
Exhaustion,
Unusual sobriety,
No need to be rude to anyone,
I thought as I arrived in front of the buffet.

Chloé gets up from her seat as soon as the lady on stage invites them to have a drink. To be fair, the speech wasn't that boring. Thanks God, she is over-eighteen. She's pretty sure that having to be in her room by 9pm sharp every night would have ruined her stay here. This school is rad, though, or so thinks Chloé. Making her way to the buffet, she decides to go with a glass of coke to begin with. There are all these people around her, strangers for now, but she'll have to get to know them later. Eventually. She's planned to go to the beach later today, she doesn't mind going on her own. But it doesn't mean that she doesn't have to socialise, or at least give it a try. So she takes the bottle of coke, pour some in her own glass and instead of putting it back on the gigantic table right away, she slides the glass to the guy over there, with the hella good hair. (Theodor) She has no idea why (or maybe she does), but dude looks like he needs it more than she does. She nods at him and turns away so that she can actually have a drink, for good this time. Let's drink it up.

Nikita had trouble understanding the speech. She got the most important things, but she felt exhausted trying to understand everything. She got up as everyone else around her did the same and she walks to the buffet. Nothing interested her, she was way too stressed to eat or even drink anything, but she wanted to be where everybody else was, to see the faces and already try remembering them. She was feeling stupid, and even though she wanted to talk to someone, she didn't try, not wanting to have trouble finding her words and looking like an eleven years old foreign student who never learnt english before. Niki stood there, a little smile on her face, but she wanted to disappear as soon as possible, 'cause she really felt like she didn't belong here. Why the hell did she try to live in England without even really speaking it? Those weeks would be really, really long...

As Charlotte sat on a chair in the back of the meeting room, the don got up and started the speech. Juste à temps, she said to herself, relieved that she could actually make it. Being on time wasn't the best quality of Charlotte, so the fact that she arrived before the begining of the speech was an accomplishment for her. After spending five minutes to congrat herself, she tried to go back to the reality and focus on the speech, but she couldn't make it this time. It was way too hard to understand, so she would just laugh when the audience laugh, and applause at the end, hoping that they give flyers summing up the speech at the "buffet" (the only word that she could understand, because it was a french word, actually) (and this one wasn't a "fake friend"). So, when everybody got up to go to the buffet, she got up too, and follow the assembly. When she arrived at the buffet, she grabbed a glass of orange juice and looked around her, wondering where everybody came from.

You'll like it over there, summer, loads of people from all over the world, maybe you can make some new friends, they said.
And forget the old ones, those who betrayed you and made you go all crazy, they thought.
And here I was staring at a bowl of grapes.
Maybe I should just go.
A delicate hand followed by a glass of coke appeared in front of me.
Don't make eye contact.
Shit.
She (Chloé) nodded and I let out a brief "thanks" before she turned away.
I've never liked coke.
I drank the whole thing feeling my blood turning to sugar instantly.
She seemed European to me.
Eyes stroking her face for a few seconds,
The breeze making her hair dance,
Glass making its way to her mouth,
I turned as well.

Chloé tries not to finish her drink too fast. Usually she would probably drink up the whole bottle of coke but she's not at home, here. Or not yet. She wonders if she'll soon feel like it, though. She turns away from the buffet so that she can have a proper look on the whole room. Loads of people, loads of different accents. She sees some girls laughing so hard, she instantly knows she'll never get along with any of them. But she's fine. She doesn't need much friends anyway. There's a blonde girl (Nikita) who reminds her of a close friend and she sighs quietly. She smiles to her when their gaze meet. It's probably the short hair. She soon has to step aside, as other people are trying to get to the food. Alright. She could either stand there, staring and ignoring other people in the room. Or she could try to talk to someone, anyone, and try not to make herself look like an ass. Her hand runs through her hair, her usual jaded look upon her face. She drinks some more and turns round again, sees that guy (Theodor). He's right here. Obviously not enjoying himself. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, he doesn't fit in, and that's probably why Chloé gets closer and asks, out of the blue. Where are you from ?

Hands slid in the pockets of my jeans,
Gaze set on all of these different faces,
I breathed,
Slowly,
Indifferently.
Then she speaks,
And I can tell it's her again,
She got closer,
And her scent envelops the place.
So I spun,
Offering her a slight smile.
"Austria and Lebanon."
I felt like that was the kind of answer she was expecting.
A country, a town, a something.
"France, I suppose." I suggested.
Oreille musicale.
Or maybe it was the way her lips moved.
Either way her voice was pleasant,
Like a combination of notes in harmony,
In the middle of all this cacophony.
That's probably why I didn't fake a stupid accent,
Enjoying her company for the moment.

(Theo)
She doesn't even bother to ask him how does he know she's French. She just nods in response. Crooked smile. Maybe her accent is stronger than she thinks, after all. Chloé knows it is more than okay, even though she enjoys pretending to be really bad at it sometimes, just so she can piss off some people. Not with him though. She would have never guessed about Austria or even Lebanon. She wonders why he's here, if he has been sent by his parents. She's heard some students complaining about that earlier, and couldn't help but think that they were just acting like spoiled little kids. You look like a child. She doesn't mean it in a bad way, the words just came out of her mouth without thinking. She is too honest for her own good, if anything, but she doesn't turn away from him. She wonders in whichcountry he used to live in before coming to Bournemouth, Austria or Lebanon, and if he'd care to teach her some bad words in German, or Arabic. She already knows a few but doesn't mind extending her list, at all. Maybe she could ask him, later on. She also wonders if she'll be able to pronounce his name properly. She knows that she hates it when people don't quite get hers. She could ask him is name but instead, something else comes out of her mouth. How long are you staying ? She's not the best at small talk, to be honest, especially with so many people around. She always says the first thing that comes to her mind, negative, positive, it doesn't matter. Some people don't like it at all - maybe he is going to turn away from her, after what she said. Maybe he thinks that's she's making fun of him. She's not though. She drinks one more sip of coke, until the glass is finished.

here you are. first time out of Africa. the speech is quiet easy to understand. you're not under eighteen. alcohol, pubs and nightclubs. fuck yeah. everybody says that Europeans don't know how to dance and you are looking forward to see that. everything around you seem terribly different. was it a good idea coming here ? maybe you should have listened to the old ones. but anyway. you follow the crowd. instinctively, you take a beer. so many humans in a simple room. Africa is big and despite the fact that your village is small, you have never seen so many people around a table. you search an African friend. nobody. you suffocate. need a cigarette. or two. but then, your glance is fixed on a pastry. you know it's typically French. croissant, they call it. at the moment when your hand seizes the pastry, another hand seizes the last. you fix her.(marlene) she looks at you. anyway, take it. first words in English. your accent is pronounced. you hope she won’t laugh at you. my name’s salif. easy sentences.

She seemed innocent,
Yet there was something so carefree about her,
Almost wild,
I had trouble figuring out what it was.
What she said caught me off guard,
It seemed like she didn't expect it either.
Spontaneous.
I like that.
What I didn't like though, was what she said.
They used to say it all the time.
You act like a child.
I didn't know I looked like one too,
And I couldn't help but wonder why she thought I did.
"It's been awhile since somebody said that to me."
Mostly because I used to look like a mess lately,
Not a child.
I ran my fingers through my hair,
And placed them in my pockets again.
How long has it been since my last conventional and sober conversation with a stranger?
I must suck at this.
"A little bit less than three months. You?"
Voice deeper than usual and quite raspy,
It must be fatigue.
I didn't want to socialize,
I didn't want to stay here,
But for some reason,
I kept looking at her,
Waiting for her answer.

(Theo)
She smiles when he says it's been a while. Apparently he didn't take it too bad. It's your hair, she says, all of a sudden. It's messy, she adds. It's rather pleasant, too, but she doesn't say a word about that. He looks pale too. And it's certainly not the eyes, they look too red, not innocent enough for a child. She wonders why he's here. Way longer than you. I'm here 'til Frebruary. It's quite long, when you think of it. She knows her parents have decided to make it last longer, at the end of her stay, if they consider it hasn't been enough time. But she's not there yet. For now, she has to go through her first day and this welcoming day. She doesn't really like it, to be honest, she thinks it's just weird, all these people around her, staring at each other because no one knows what to expect. She had to go through the same thing during her first day at University, back in Paris, and just like today, everyone was just standing and smiling awkwardly. Her hand runs through her hair one more time, before she says really quickly. Do you want to leave ? I want to see the beach. She'll go anyway, even if he says no. She doesn't mind being on her own, but don't mind having some company either. It's sunny outside, the weather is good and she hasn't seen the seaside for a while now. It's not like anyone is going to talk to us now. Well, they still could. She just didn't like the idea of people expecting her to become their best friend in less than twenty-five minutes. She looks at him, smiling slightly. It'd be great to get out of here for a little while.

“Alright… I really gotta go mom! You know the conference… Ok but quickly. Bonjour papa ! Je sais, moi aussi. Non vraiment là je n’ai pas le temps… je dois raccrocher. Votre facture, pas la mienne ! Facetime la prochaine fois. Promis je vous rappelle dès que je peux. Bisous ! Love ya mom! I promise. Oh my god guys, I really have to hang up! See you soon!” I sigh when I finally put the phone down. I love my parents, don’t get me wrong… but damn they can be so overwhelming sometimes! Still I love them and I’ll be missing them. Even though I’m only gone for a few weeks. I sit better in my seat, looking around at all those new faces I still don’t know. And I wonder: where are they from? How is their English? Will I make friends? What are they like? What kind of food do they like? Does any of them play soccer? God soccer… I just can’t wait to play again! It’s been five days… FIVE DAYS! Ok, I’m glad my thoughts are personal because sometimes even I freak myself out. The lady gave her speech, people laugh. I smile. I don’t like to force myself although I didn’t think the joke was that funny. Was that an example of the british humour? When finally she’s done talking, I get up as everyone and walk toward the buffet. Food speaks to me, I like food. I walk slowly and made my way on the left side, close to the drinks. I grab one glass of diet coke and take a sip. I turn my head on my left and made eye contact with a tall blondie. (Nikita) She seems so shy. I smile to her. “Hi there!” I show her the coke. “Do you want some?”

Tu te tiens en retrait. Dans le fond de la salle. Debout. Appuyée contre le mur. Tu connais le discours. Tu te rappelles de ton premier jour ici, toi aussi. Ca te parait si lointain et si proche en même temps. C'est étrange. Une tasse de thé entre les mains te réchauffe les phalanges engourdies par la fraîcheur matinale. Tu as encore du mal avec le vent et l'humidité. Au final c'est peut-être la seule chose que tu n'as pas encore pu surmonter. Parce que le reste, tu t'y accommodes. Et ce depuis six mois. Qui l'aurait cru ?! Tu souris aux anges, à la fois ancrée dans cette réalité qui t'amuse, ce jour nouveau et quelques souvenirs qui se mélangent. Ces nouvelles têtes, comme à chaque fois, tu les inspectes, leur imagines une vie, des histoires. Tu as hâte d'apprendre. Apprendre à les connaître, apprendre à les découvrir. Eux, de leur côtés, échangent leurs premiers mots, premiers liens. Et de ton point d'observation, tu peux déjà deviner les affinités se développer. Ceci n'est autre que l'aube d'un nouveau chapitre. Pour eux, pour toi, pour vous tous. Un de plus ...

I smiled when she talked about my hair.
"I thought it made me look more repulsive than childish."
I wasn't really one to spend too much time getting ready,
Especially since I didn't give a damn about what others could think about my physical appearance.
"You better like this, then."
My time here was temporary,
I was supposed to be back next fall at the university,
And I wasn't particularly keen on extending my trip.
She was impulsive,
Unpredictable,
And that's probably why I nodded.
"Yeah. I don't like it here anyway."
I liked the beach,
I didn't mind going there,
If it meant skipping all of this.
"It's not that. It just feels a bit too staged and unnatural for my liking."
People were going to talk to me eventually,
I just didn't feel like exchanging personal details and fake smiles for the moment,
I'd leave the summer excitement and the friendship bracelets to everyone else.

(Theo) It actually doesn't, she answers. Repulsive ? Certainly not. Truth is, he's attractive, not gonna lie. But he looks like a lost child, who has been abandoned by someone, or life, really. She shrugs a bit. I think I'll be fine. She's the one who decided to take a break, a sort of gap year. No one forced her into taking this decision. She doesn't know what she wants to do with her life anymore, and she secretely hopes that she'll find out while she's here. She knows she doesn't need this kind of events to get along with the other students. Oh well, alright, alright, maybe if she wants them to be willing to get to know her, she needs that. Whatever. She puts her empty glass on the table beside her and takes one step closer to him. Let's go then. Another crooked smile and she's gone. Making her way through the crowd, that's when she notices how full the room is. She runs into someone, so she decides to stop for a second. She doesn't have to be an ass on her first day, yeah ? Sorry. The woman (Lena) she just bumped into is young, barely older than her - and rather cute. She remembers that she's the one in charge of outdoor activities, or something like that. Chloé's smile grows bigger, she's pretty sure they'll meet again. You've got nice hair, she says with a wink, and then disappear towards the door. Then, and only then, she turns away, to see if the guy actually followed her or not.

merde, t'es déjà en retard pour ton premier jour, pour le jour d'intégration. tu respires à pleins poumons et pénètres enfin dans la propriété de help yourself, quelle course! la roue arrière de ton fixie s'est crevée, du coup t'as du te taper la route à pied et bien sûr, beaucoup plus lentement qu'avec ton vélo, d'où ton retard. tu pénètres enfin dans la salle où vous deviez tous vous retrouvez, tu apperçois une femme plus mûre au fond de la salle, elle observe tout le monde (thaïs) et tu t'approches d'elle. - bonjour.. hello ! i'm so sorry i'm late, the wheel of my fixie has burst... peut-être s'en foutait en fait, tu ne sais pas, tu reprenais doucement ta respiration.